The cynical among us read that title and said "Yeah, but you might do something and get nothing too." They would be right. There are dozens of sayings like this. The basic premise is if you want something to happen get off your butt and do something, unless you are a writer, I find writing easier when I sit.
There are a lot of angst ridden people in the world. They feel like they are doing so much and getting so little. I have felt this way many times, and I am sure you have too.
We attend seminars, read books and watch shows that are supposed to make us feel good and help us get more out of life. So with all of this help out there, why do we feel like we aren't getting enough? How come we sometimes feel helpless.
The Secret
No not the movie or the book, but the real secret. Do you want to know it? There is a comedic irony to life, and once you discover it and more importantly once you start living it, you will feel like you are getting enough because you will be getting more than you believe you will get today.
Now some people will start off by telling you to be happy with what you have and live with it. They will try and tell you it is all in your head. Some of it is.
The part that is in your head I like to call the Schleprock syndrome. My wife has a little bit of it still, and when I see it I shut it down quickly. You might have it too.
The Schleprock syndrome is a low state of constant worry. The other day my wife answered a text to be available on Saturday, and then took another gig Friday night. When she started to worry about an early work time on Saturday, I looked at her and said "This is easy, either cancel one now, or if Saturday is too early, get a hotel or better yet, tell them you are no longer available." Having valid options stopped the worry and sure enough, Saturday was cancelled anyway.
When I had my largest business, the first time I had to skip my own salary to make payroll, I spiraled into Schleprock syndrome. From then on I was more worried about making payroll than building a business. Some will tell you that you have to worry about making payroll as the owner, and I will tell you that is bunk. If you can't make payroll the business can survive. If you don't get new business it won't. It really is that simple.
This is the part of the book "The Secret" that I think is valid. If you spend all of your time focused on the bad things that can happen in your life, you will do things that increase the likelihood of them happening. While the reverse is true, being focused on the positive things does lead to more positive, it doesn't magically make a rock star parking space appear at the mall on black Friday.
Now that I understand the Schleprock phenomenon and can see it in others, the question is how to break the spell?
Yes this part is a mental game, in fact all of it is. Unlike the teaching of an author once made famous by Oprah Winfrey, whose career stalled about that time by the way, this isn't about being happy with what you have and staying put. The only people that plan works for are buddhist monks. The rest of us thrive on change to live life.
We might have a little fear of change, but we need it to grow. Being happy is just one ingredient of the recipe for success. Some comics who are successful and miserable prove happiness isn't even required for financial success.
The Chicken and the Egg Question
Starting where you are today, where do you go next? Do you fix your mind and stop worrying, or do you focus on the positive and the worry goes away? I bet you have heard about or read about both ways. Has either of them worked? I bet not.
What happens in both cases is the mind is already trained to think a certain way. You have triggers all around you that start certain thought patterns. Leaving that unpaid bill on top of your desk that you know you can't pay this week doesn't help. You might see your highest paid employee and think "I need to cut payroll" and your day begins its downhill slide. You might see an invoice that you can't pay on your desk, and your day begins a downhill slide.
So if you can't just stop worrying or thinking positive, what do you do?
To begin with, simplify. My experience both personally and as a coach is that simplification is the key to getting started. You may have already put some events into motion that make that very difficult. Tough decisions have to be made here. They are clear and easy but tough because we don't like letting other people down.
Some of the easy methods center around de-clutering your life. Make time and mental space for yourself. A file folder for bills that you can't pay now gets them off your desk. When you get a big check, open it up and feel good about paying as many as you can. When you are done, put it back and move on. Looking at the bills every day when you don't have money to pay them isn't going to help you get more money. It just wastes time you could be using to find or generate income and starts your worry spiral for the day if it hasn't already started.
If you have a family, you may need to sacrifice some or a lot of family time to really achieve what you want. If you have a business, you might need to let some people go and take over those responsibilities yourself for a while.
It isn't about which to do first, you must make a phase shift that covers both. Getting positive without eliminating worry doesn't work nor does eliminating worry and being negative about everything.
The place to start is by looking for the best all of the time. Look for the best in yourself and others, look for the best in events in your life. At the same time look to simplify. Say "No" to anything that isn't helping you get where you want to go.
Making a list of goals isn't the answer either. Everytime I meet a new client who does this, they are doing it very wrong. Most of the time if we really talk about the goals, we find that the goals are counterproductive and limit each other. For instance, "Being the best dad" and "Being a great singer" can't happen at the same time. One must come first. Once you master the first one, then move on to the second.
The Simple Path To Being a Millionaire
Even when I get people to a single goal, or "mini-mission", a deep review will find several activities or sacrifices the person isn't willing to do. Gary Keller wrote a fantastic book that will make anyone a Millionaire who is willing to follow it. In fact he wrote two of them. The Millionaire Real Estate Investor and the The Millionaire Real Estate Agent. At Keller Williams offices these are affectionately known as MREI or the "Blue Book" and MREA or the "Red Book".
For those of you that don't know, I have a real estate license for my own investing. It is one little step that Gary missed. If you are going to be a pro investor or a pro agent making seven figures, I think you need to take the classes, get the license and know what is going on in the industry. I also don't find helping friends who are getting bad information from agents that don't even own a home or are on salary so they don't care.
For business owners, actors and consultants there are hundreds of similar classes that will give you a roadmap to success. These should be taken in addition too, not in lieu of the formal training classes for your craft. The best always are studying and learning to get better. If you don't enjoy learning more about your craft, your first step is to go find a new craft.
95% of the agents I meet have never even heard of either of these books. The dozen or so that I know that read them have changed their goals. Instead of following the checklist to become a millionaire, they decide to do less and make a lot less.
My friend and mentor, Dean Graziosi, also has several great books with step by step methods to making money in real estate.
Both Gary and Dean describe quite clearly the actions you mist take to achieve the goals they set for you. It is very simple, but not easy. They are both telling you exactly how to "be" if you are going to be a real estate millionaire in five years or less.
Here are two authors, which with a five year investment of your time and effort are the closest thing to guaranteed financial result that I have ever seen. So why do I tell people about these books and risk increasing the competition in my investment business? Simple, most people won't do it at all because they might have to sacrifice a little luxury in their life, and another group will lose focus in the initial days weeks or months, and finally competition forces you to get better.
The irony and secret of life is this. You will only be paid to be the best when you are the best. Of all the things that you can do in life, there is one that you will be the most successful at. Likely it is something you already do or free and don't think anything of it. The better you get the more you will make. The competition is ready for the job, you need to be better than ready.
Success is simple, but the road that leads to it isn't easy or lazy.
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Thank you for your insights.