How To Make New Years Resolutions That Work.

A friend of mine once said if you want a New Years Resolution that you will stick to, it is easy, don't make one.  Every year we make new years resolutions that stick like a post it note on your windshield going through a car wash.  We all know it and yet studies indicate that we continue to make resolutions and fail to keep them.

Have you ever wondered why?  Do you even really care? Why do so many resolutions end up broken and forgotten?

Psychologists tell us that unachieved goals are more dangerous than no goals at all.  When it comes to running a business I couldn't agree more.  I have seen parts of my business life that quite frankly have been a complete failure.  After I messed a few goals, I came to expect that I would miss more.  It is like a cancer to the positive thought  and energy that entrepreneurs need to have every day. 

Entrepreneurs are a different breed.  Most of them that I meet have an addiction to running their own show.  They have an enthusiasm for whatever it is they do and love to see their customers enjoy the fruits of their labor. The underlying reasons are a little different for each of us.  Liberty, Freedom and Happiness rank up there for a few of us.  Some have something to prove, which is perfectly fine.  In fact Bill Bartmann believes that having something to prove and someone to prove it too can be a great motivator.

Watching my chef friend and neighbor work is amazing.  She is up at 3am or so baking so her clients get the best baked goods she can deliver.  When she has a new flavor she yells across the street for me to go to the store and try it.

So how do all the pieces of our minds come together and create New Years Resolutions that work?  Isn't that what we really want?

While doing a little research on the subject, I found a study about exercise and weight loss.  Having lost over 30 pounds this year it was very interesting.  The study said that our spouses/partners are not good enough as motivation to lose weight or exercise.  It is easier to put off exercise if we are only doing it for us, or our spouse or partner.  Why?  Because we know that they will love us anyway.  I think that is true of our businesses too.  If I don't make my next goal, my wife won't leave me or love me less will she?

My weight loss success came from a bet with my friend and business partner, not my desire to impress my wife.  As wrong as that sounds it isa reality.  By making it a challenge, I didn’t want to lose (the bet that is) and so I made the effort and stuck to it.  Suddenly switching from Ice Cream to Yogurt was easy.  Cutting out all grains, not that difficult, eating less became tolerable and finally I got off my chair and hit the treadmill or the road for a good run.

At first the run was literally a couple of blocks, this morning it was an easy three miles in 24 minutes followed by a quick upper body strength session.

I have to wonder if having a partner that keeps the other person engaged isn't the reason behind such great companies as Hewlett-Packard, Microsoft and Apple, all of which started out as partnerships of two very different minded people. 

New Years resolutions have all of the same challenges as losing weight.  More so if they are business related challenges.  

No matter what you choose to do, make sure you find a way to make it important enough to you to actually do it.  If you want to lose weight, you have to want to lose weight more than you want to eat, avoid exercise and watch TV.  If you want to grow your business, you have to want to grow your business more than the alternatives.

The holidays are especially tough on entrepreneurs.  Many of us have a narrow window of opportunity to take advantage and make some big changes to set our businesses up for 2013.  At the same time, our families are almost demanding more of our time because “it’s the holidays”.

Being an entrepreneur is complicated by our social desire to please everyone.  After all we solve problems don’t we.  The holidays are simply a problem we can solve or are they?  It has taken years for my family to understand that I work when others play, and I play when others work.

When they do get a glimpse into my life, they are amazed at how much more this allows me to do.  Less standing in line at both ends of the deal.  Quieter and less expensive vacations, shorter lines at the Orlando attractions and shorter lines at the airport are just a few of the benefits of working this way.   I don’t feel like I am making progress in the areas of Freedom, Happiness or Liberty when I stand in line for three hours anywhere.

As you look to 2013, before you make those resolutions, think about what is really important to you first.  Instead of making resolutions, how about making a road map of your perfect life?

A few years ago a family health issue made me take a long hard look at my life.  I realized that I was missing a lot of my “goals” because they really weren’t my goals or didn’t fit the image of my life.  Those missed goals were creating stress and anxiety while preventing me from achieving other goals.  I realized the psychologists were right about goals and resolutions.

After a spending two days in front of a white board I mapped out everything I really wanted and didn’t want.  The next step was getting my wife to sign off on.  Of course that happened after a couple of changes from her input.  Today I live a very different life than I did just three years ago.

Instead of making a resolution this year, make a change.  Whatever you decide to do, find a reason to do it, and a reason not to avoid it.  Figure out how the obstacles you might encounter first, and how you are going to get around them before you try and make a change in your life.  Make the decision that what you get is worth whatever it is you have to give up and get other people in your life to agree to let you do it.

Write out the changes that you want to make, remind yourself every day what you are willing to give up to get there, and you will be there before you know it.  

Happy New Year