This is a little phrase I have tried to follow all of my life. When I was young and wanted to be a Rockstar, I acted like all the Rockstars I saw on MTV. As I moved into my teens, and decided maybe racing cars would be a great life, I acted like the guys on TV.
When I joined the military I quickly learned that I didn’t like walking around airplanes as a Security Guard at 2 am in weather so cold my jacket literally turned to ice. I noticed there were a few guys who had better schedules. They were the base shooting team. So, to try and get out of the all night duty, I acted like the guys on the shooting team.
It didn’t take long before it worked and I was moved off of “guard duty”. In fact, acting like the other guys on the team got me quickly accepted to the team, and brought a box of awards and medals home that I still don’t have a house big enough for. That team was a dominant force for four years running.
When I got commissioned as a second lieutenant, I needed to finish college in order to go to Air Force Undergraduate Pilot Training or UPT. While I was finishing college and waiting to leave for UPT, I hung out in a fighter squadron with F-16 pilots. Once again I followed the sage advice, and everyone wished me luck when I finally left for UPT.
At UPT it was a different story. I was still acting like an F-16 pilot, not like a top student. My “attitude” landed me a letter that cost me my F-16 slot. Ironically the letter said “Lt. Bourquin does not have an attitude conducive to flying a fighter.”
I left UPT to fly a C-26 and spent the next five years as a “wanna be” fighter pilot, in a fighter squadron, hauling people and parts. I acted like the guys in the squadron and eventually things were looking good I would get that one in a million second shot. Instead of waiting for a slot at the base I was stationed, I found a reserve squadron in Austin Texas willing to take a chance. The base was closed before I could even start F-16 School.
The difference in the two scenarios has played out in my life several times and in several different areas. Do you see the difference? In simple terms, when I was acting like the person I needed to be in the place and time I was living, I experienced almost effortless success. When I was acting like the image I wanted to be, I experienced failure no matter how hard I tried.
I wish I could say there was an “epiphany” or “aha moment” where I realized the difference and suddenly my life changed. Regrettably, I am not that quick. It took many years and a lot of coaching coupled with self reflection to see the difference. Now when I talk with someone I can see it in minutes.
As a coach, my most difficult task is to teach people the difference between an image of a person and the real person.
I have been blessed with knowing several real “Rockstars”, Race Car Drivers, Actors and CEO’s. All of them have one common trait. They act like who they are, not the image people see of them. It is when they start believing the PR and acting like the image that they fall from grace.
The Rockstar in my neighborhood isn’t currently recording so he built a company. Most of the day he acts like a hard charging PHD entrepreneur. That is Poor Hungry and Desperate PHD type by the way. The rest of the day he still acts like a Rockstar. He has a full studio in his home and although he’ll never say so, I have met his guitar coach twice just walking by with the dogs. He is and always will be a Rockstar. If you followed him all day, you would likely be confused because his lifestyle hardly fits the image you would expect.
The same is true of my Race Car Driver, CEO and Actor friends. They are always acting like the person they want to be. Sometimes it is a better version of themselves, other times it is someone who is just above their level.
Who are you acting like?
If you aren't sure who you want to be check out:
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Thank you for your insights.