Rules and structure are a funny thing in business. On any given day you can pick up a business magazine and read about someone who is successful by creating rules and processes like Henry Ford invented the assembly line. The same magazine will have an article about some guy who is successful who didn't follow any of the rules. So which is it? What is an up a coming business owner to do?
The great thing about business is you can do either. The important trick is to look in the mirror and really understand who you are. If you are a risk taker that never follows the rules like Steve Jobs and Wozniak, you might build the next Apple. If you understand the rules of the game like a young Bill Gates did, you might create the next Microsoft. I don't think any of those three will ever be labeled as "unsuccessful" or worried about money.
Most people have been conditioned to be the worker bees. They show up, learn the rules, do the job and leave. If that is all you want out of life, stop reading.
Some of us haven't bought into the whole "be happy with what you've got" philosophy and are always looking for a way to improve our own lives. Simply put that happens one of two ways. The first way is the Apple way, don't follow anyone, blaze new trails and do things differently. These people and companies are the high risk high flyers that change the world and how we see things every day.
The second method is the structured approach. Follow the rules and make incremental improvements. Test the changes and move forward with those that work. There are a few Microsoft fans out there rolling their eyes wondering how they got into this category. After all hasn't Microsoft changed our world too.
The answer is yes and there in lies the answer. You can be successful by managing and owning very low risk businesses like the family that owns In-N-Out. They didn't change the burger business, they just made it clean and simple. No chicken, no fish, no frozen foods ever, well except the milk shakes.
Microsoft was created after Bill Gates acquired the rights to an operating system and then smartly followed the rules laid down by IBM. His competitor was "busy" and didn't follow IBM's rules. Bill got in the door and got the deal. DOS likely became a household word because of that one event. If the other guy had answered the call, we might all be using CP/M or whatever the other guy had. Microsoft has been making incremental changes to DOS ever since. Windows was an add on to DOS.
Apple on the other hand changes everything from the inside out, every time they change something. Check out the article in Fast Company about Steve Jobs this month, and read about how the iMac almost never existed. While you are there read about Homeboy Industries too.
Figure out where your strength is, structure, tweaking structure or breaking structure then set your sites on a target that is just out of reach today and go for it. Never stop, never give up, never quit, just keep moving towards the target whatever it may be.
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Tuesday, April 24, 2012
Secrets to Getting and Staying Rich
I am going to try something new here, once each month I will post a "Secret to Getting and Staying Rich". Some little nugget that not everyone knows or that everyone knows exists but they don't know how to use. For instance, in the book "How Come That idiot's Rich and I am not", one of the secrets Rich Shemin shared was about buying used cars. "Rich Idiot's" buy used, broke people lease or buy new.
I agree with this secret and have used it more than once. The best deal was a one year old "Certified Pre-Owned" BMW 325i Wagon. It had just 7501 miles on it, and instead of a 50,000 mile bumper to bumper warranty, it had a 5 year 100,000 mile warranty and maintenance. I got the car for $10,000 less than the sticker price of the new model and my price included the tax, license and registration. Over $13,000 saved up front, and several hundred in maintenance saved over the 8 years I owned the car. Buying a used car isn't what this is about today.
For those of you that don't know, I am also a Real Estate Agent. I don't do much selling personally, my wife is a full time agent. I got the license to be able to access better information as an investor. Once in a while I get to help someone fulfill the dream of owning a home, or owning their first investment. If you are in Orange County California, look me up, I am always glad to help.
Today, I am going to be counter intuitive and talk about timeshares. I can hear you saying, "What is a real estate agent doing talking about timeshares and getting rich, they are a rip-off!" Like all things in life, it is how you buy it, how you use it and how you get rid of it that matters. Timeshares can be good if you buy right and use them right.
Right off the bat I will say that having access to a second home at your schedule is a great thing. One week a month I am in the Truckee-Tahoe area, and the other three I try to be at my home in Huntington Beach, CA. Admittedly not a bad life, but I still like to go other places. Like Maui for instance. I am planning to go the first week of May, and rented a condo from Jim Casper at mauitownhouse.com. I'll talk about renting condo's in the future for those of you that don't think you want a timeshare ever.
I would have used my timeshare to go to Maui, but it is one of the few places on the planet where I couldn't find a unit I could trade for that I liked. I am planning to go to Nashville or Orlando or both this summer using my timeshare.
Most people think of timeshares as the pressure cooker sales presentation followed by a bottle of champagne and the hangover when you realize you just bought a hotel room for life. Yes this happens.
Wyndham does a good job to make the owners who buy their timeshare second hand, second class citizens. If you have lots of points and paid full price in the pressure cooker, you are in the "VIP" club. If you didn't, well you aren't. I am not. If I want to pay $10,000 or more to feel like a "VIP", I'll join a country club again.
This all started several years ago when I wanted to go to San Antonio Texas for the weekend. After talking it over with my wife, just like parking spots in the movie The Secret, an invitation to go to a Wyndham timeshare presentation and get a free weekend in San Antonio appeared in my mail. We went with the intention of just taking the free weekend. If you are planning to do this, don't wear decent clothes to the presentation. I noticed that people looking like they were auditioning for the "people of Wal-Mart" emails got out quickly and painlessly.
My wife and I sat in the pressure cooker for 3 hours of our "45 minute presentation". That salesman knew I had cash available and wasn't letting go. I finally broke down and bought a "trial" package with just one years worth of usage. The idea being I would like to the program so much that I would come back and buy in. They were half right.
At first I was a little put off by the slightly longer lines for the non-VIP people, but I eventually got over it. My wife being the master at finding a deal treated the Wyndham points like catalog shopping. She managed to stretch the points into three one week adventures. One for the entire family in Myrtle Beach South Carolina where we got a three bedroom unit and had everyone there. Another to Nashville (where I have since bought) and Kona Hawaii.
Once you get used to the Wyndham points system, it is pretty cool. It is a little harder to deal with than the reserved week system from what people have told me. If you are like me, the benefit of flexibility offsets any loss of "guaranteed" time.
The only thing that bugs me about Wyndham as a big timeshare company, is they still look like they are out for themselves and not their owners. You can go online and rent a unit at just about any Wyndham timeshare. I think the owners should get a rebate check for that time, or be able to put their unused time into the pool of open rooms to get paid, but that isn't the case.
That said, Wyndham does have a really nice over all product and the locations might look bad on paper but they turn out to be pretty good. At least where I have stayed so far. Nashville looks like it is in the sticks on Google earth, yet it is right next to the Opreyland area, and an easy drive into town if you rent a car. The location was just out of traffic, and close to everything.
So, now to the secret of buying a timeshare that Wyndham and even other timeshare owners don't want you to know about. eBay. Buying a timeshare on eBay is very easy, however there are some things to know if you want to make it painless. For instance to make the annual fees look less expensive, Wyndham bills every month even if you only get points every other year.
Buying on eBay will consist of several different fees on top of your final bid price. A $1 auction could cost you $4,000 so read the fine print. Luckily with timeshares there is a 10 day right to cancel called a right of rescission. It is better to read the fine print first and not have to cancel. I cancelled two because the fine print and the escrow didn't match. Both companies were very good about it and I believe they were honest mistakes. Either way though, your money is still held up for at least several days.
The first fee is the escrow fee. Some sellers pay this for you, others run $499 to $750 per transaction.
The second fee is the resort transfer fee. Normally $299 for Wyndham, sometimes paid by the seller. keep in mind on eBay you don't negotiate these things. There are several websites where you can make offers, so keep this fee list handy.
The third fee is the prepaid maintenance. If the seller didn't use the points, you will likely pay them for the annual maintenance fee they paid so you get the points. You have to watch this closely. Escrow and transfer at the resort can take 45 days, and the points anniversary might only be 60 days away. You'll have as little as 15 days to make a reservation, get there and burn the points if you can't carry them over.
A fourth possible fee is a "convenience fee". This one is made up for smaller points sales that have prepaid the annual fee and know that you won't pay the entire amount.
Finally add your bid. Add all of that up and you get your final cost. We all know there are shills on eBay and eBay doesn't present it. I don't know if it was the sellers or who, but several times a buyer with zero transactions would snipe me and run the price up, or get the deal. Don't let it bother you, another auction will be open soon for the same number of points at the same resort. Don't pay extra unless the seller is paying a lot of the fees.
As an example, when I bought my 156,000 points at Nashville. The points weren't used so I paid $25.50, (after a zero buyer ran it up with just a few hours to go) for the timeshare instead of the $14,000 the seller paid, $299 escrow (partly paid by seller), $370 in prepaid fees and $299 resort transfer for a total of $993.50. My fees are $138 per month which isn't bad. Even though I paid 25.50 I would have paid $50 since the seller was paying $200 of the escrow fees. Know your price first.
Since I can travel off season, my wife uses the Wyndham website like a shopping challenge and finds great deals for us to see new places. We picked Nashville as our base since it is one nonstop flight for everyone in our family and we can have an annual get together there. It doesn't hurt that we had a great trip out there before.
Lots of user groups talk about getting the best points per maintenance fees deals when shopping. If you are looking at the $1.00 eBay auctions, you are getting such a bargain that the fees aren't that big of a deal. Also I think it is worth it to own at a place you might want to go at least every other year. You can reserve earlier if you own there. I suggest sticking to the 100,000 and higher points ownership. The fees do go up quickly for the smaller points owners.travel
There are two other caveats to Wyndham. Some of the resorts were purchased from another company and were primarily sold as "weeks" not points. In that case points owners can be at a disadvantage when making reservations since not all the rooms are open to points members. The Westwinds in South Carolina is one such resort. Just down the road are two others which aren't limited, and that isn't shown on eBay. If anyone knows where that list is published please share it here.
The final caveat is to read about the points anniversary and usage. Biennial usage can be odd or even years, and the anniversary can make a difference in your first year costs. You might pay for a year you can't use. My anniversary is July 1st. Some are January 1st. That means any points I haven't used by June 30th go into the ether and just like a second home that sits empty, I paid for not using those points.
If you like to travel, a timeshare can be half the cost of a hotel room or less and the added benefits of having a kitchen can save even more. If you don't want to buy on eBay you can go direct to places like discounttimeshares.com. So there is your Secret to Getting and Staying Rich this month, buy a timeshare on the cheap and use it instead of using a hotel.
I agree with this secret and have used it more than once. The best deal was a one year old "Certified Pre-Owned" BMW 325i Wagon. It had just 7501 miles on it, and instead of a 50,000 mile bumper to bumper warranty, it had a 5 year 100,000 mile warranty and maintenance. I got the car for $10,000 less than the sticker price of the new model and my price included the tax, license and registration. Over $13,000 saved up front, and several hundred in maintenance saved over the 8 years I owned the car. Buying a used car isn't what this is about today.
For those of you that don't know, I am also a Real Estate Agent. I don't do much selling personally, my wife is a full time agent. I got the license to be able to access better information as an investor. Once in a while I get to help someone fulfill the dream of owning a home, or owning their first investment. If you are in Orange County California, look me up, I am always glad to help.
Today, I am going to be counter intuitive and talk about timeshares. I can hear you saying, "What is a real estate agent doing talking about timeshares and getting rich, they are a rip-off!" Like all things in life, it is how you buy it, how you use it and how you get rid of it that matters. Timeshares can be good if you buy right and use them right.
Right off the bat I will say that having access to a second home at your schedule is a great thing. One week a month I am in the Truckee-Tahoe area, and the other three I try to be at my home in Huntington Beach, CA. Admittedly not a bad life, but I still like to go other places. Like Maui for instance. I am planning to go the first week of May, and rented a condo from Jim Casper at mauitownhouse.com. I'll talk about renting condo's in the future for those of you that don't think you want a timeshare ever.
I would have used my timeshare to go to Maui, but it is one of the few places on the planet where I couldn't find a unit I could trade for that I liked. I am planning to go to Nashville or Orlando or both this summer using my timeshare.
Most people think of timeshares as the pressure cooker sales presentation followed by a bottle of champagne and the hangover when you realize you just bought a hotel room for life. Yes this happens.
Wyndham does a good job to make the owners who buy their timeshare second hand, second class citizens. If you have lots of points and paid full price in the pressure cooker, you are in the "VIP" club. If you didn't, well you aren't. I am not. If I want to pay $10,000 or more to feel like a "VIP", I'll join a country club again.
This all started several years ago when I wanted to go to San Antonio Texas for the weekend. After talking it over with my wife, just like parking spots in the movie The Secret, an invitation to go to a Wyndham timeshare presentation and get a free weekend in San Antonio appeared in my mail. We went with the intention of just taking the free weekend. If you are planning to do this, don't wear decent clothes to the presentation. I noticed that people looking like they were auditioning for the "people of Wal-Mart" emails got out quickly and painlessly.
My wife and I sat in the pressure cooker for 3 hours of our "45 minute presentation". That salesman knew I had cash available and wasn't letting go. I finally broke down and bought a "trial" package with just one years worth of usage. The idea being I would like to the program so much that I would come back and buy in. They were half right.
At first I was a little put off by the slightly longer lines for the non-VIP people, but I eventually got over it. My wife being the master at finding a deal treated the Wyndham points like catalog shopping. She managed to stretch the points into three one week adventures. One for the entire family in Myrtle Beach South Carolina where we got a three bedroom unit and had everyone there. Another to Nashville (where I have since bought) and Kona Hawaii.
Once you get used to the Wyndham points system, it is pretty cool. It is a little harder to deal with than the reserved week system from what people have told me. If you are like me, the benefit of flexibility offsets any loss of "guaranteed" time.
The only thing that bugs me about Wyndham as a big timeshare company, is they still look like they are out for themselves and not their owners. You can go online and rent a unit at just about any Wyndham timeshare. I think the owners should get a rebate check for that time, or be able to put their unused time into the pool of open rooms to get paid, but that isn't the case.
That said, Wyndham does have a really nice over all product and the locations might look bad on paper but they turn out to be pretty good. At least where I have stayed so far. Nashville looks like it is in the sticks on Google earth, yet it is right next to the Opreyland area, and an easy drive into town if you rent a car. The location was just out of traffic, and close to everything.
So, now to the secret of buying a timeshare that Wyndham and even other timeshare owners don't want you to know about. eBay. Buying a timeshare on eBay is very easy, however there are some things to know if you want to make it painless. For instance to make the annual fees look less expensive, Wyndham bills every month even if you only get points every other year.
Buying on eBay will consist of several different fees on top of your final bid price. A $1 auction could cost you $4,000 so read the fine print. Luckily with timeshares there is a 10 day right to cancel called a right of rescission. It is better to read the fine print first and not have to cancel. I cancelled two because the fine print and the escrow didn't match. Both companies were very good about it and I believe they were honest mistakes. Either way though, your money is still held up for at least several days.
The first fee is the escrow fee. Some sellers pay this for you, others run $499 to $750 per transaction.
The second fee is the resort transfer fee. Normally $299 for Wyndham, sometimes paid by the seller. keep in mind on eBay you don't negotiate these things. There are several websites where you can make offers, so keep this fee list handy.
The third fee is the prepaid maintenance. If the seller didn't use the points, you will likely pay them for the annual maintenance fee they paid so you get the points. You have to watch this closely. Escrow and transfer at the resort can take 45 days, and the points anniversary might only be 60 days away. You'll have as little as 15 days to make a reservation, get there and burn the points if you can't carry them over.
A fourth possible fee is a "convenience fee". This one is made up for smaller points sales that have prepaid the annual fee and know that you won't pay the entire amount.
Finally add your bid. Add all of that up and you get your final cost. We all know there are shills on eBay and eBay doesn't present it. I don't know if it was the sellers or who, but several times a buyer with zero transactions would snipe me and run the price up, or get the deal. Don't let it bother you, another auction will be open soon for the same number of points at the same resort. Don't pay extra unless the seller is paying a lot of the fees.
As an example, when I bought my 156,000 points at Nashville. The points weren't used so I paid $25.50, (after a zero buyer ran it up with just a few hours to go) for the timeshare instead of the $14,000 the seller paid, $299 escrow (partly paid by seller), $370 in prepaid fees and $299 resort transfer for a total of $993.50. My fees are $138 per month which isn't bad. Even though I paid 25.50 I would have paid $50 since the seller was paying $200 of the escrow fees. Know your price first.
Since I can travel off season, my wife uses the Wyndham website like a shopping challenge and finds great deals for us to see new places. We picked Nashville as our base since it is one nonstop flight for everyone in our family and we can have an annual get together there. It doesn't hurt that we had a great trip out there before.
Lots of user groups talk about getting the best points per maintenance fees deals when shopping. If you are looking at the $1.00 eBay auctions, you are getting such a bargain that the fees aren't that big of a deal. Also I think it is worth it to own at a place you might want to go at least every other year. You can reserve earlier if you own there. I suggest sticking to the 100,000 and higher points ownership. The fees do go up quickly for the smaller points owners.travel
There are two other caveats to Wyndham. Some of the resorts were purchased from another company and were primarily sold as "weeks" not points. In that case points owners can be at a disadvantage when making reservations since not all the rooms are open to points members. The Westwinds in South Carolina is one such resort. Just down the road are two others which aren't limited, and that isn't shown on eBay. If anyone knows where that list is published please share it here.
The final caveat is to read about the points anniversary and usage. Biennial usage can be odd or even years, and the anniversary can make a difference in your first year costs. You might pay for a year you can't use. My anniversary is July 1st. Some are January 1st. That means any points I haven't used by June 30th go into the ether and just like a second home that sits empty, I paid for not using those points.
If you like to travel, a timeshare can be half the cost of a hotel room or less and the added benefits of having a kitchen can save even more. If you don't want to buy on eBay you can go direct to places like discounttimeshares.com. So there is your Secret to Getting and Staying Rich this month, buy a timeshare on the cheap and use it instead of using a hotel.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Do You Know Anyone Who Just Wants To Be Comfortable?
Lately it seems like there isn't a day that I don't meet someone who just wants to be "comfortable". Since it is in my nature to try and help people do better, I stop and listen, some people might even call it a bit nosey. Without fail there is one common denominator among all of them.
In the Real Estate Office my wife works, there were several brand new agents that just wanted to be "comfortable". The common denominator is so obvious once you see it. When you see it in yourself, it is almost embarrassing. At least it was for me when my wife pointed it out. Most people won't say it if I tell them to their face, in fact most would argue the point so I never tell anyone directly anymore. It just made people mad at me, but let's see if you know anyone like this guy I met a short while ago, we'll call him John.
I met John at breakfast while in Dallas Texas. My flight wasn't for a couple of hours, and I was in the corner studying for my California Real Estate license. It turns out, I can't do advertising for my wife or Realtor clients without one and yes I passed.
Anyway, John was talking to an older couple who I assumed to be his parents. They turned out to be his Aunt and Uncle. John was going over all the changes at his office and telling them how he was very worried about losing his job. Does any of this sound familiar? It is like the common thread of the economy.
His aunt and uncle coddled him a bit while he complained that he just wanted to be "comfortable". He suddenly got my attention. After all it was exactly this situation that occurred in the middle east with a group of military troops who were too scared to get out of their comfort zone and go back to civilian life that inspired me to write So, Now What?.
I put my iPad down and listened for a couple more minutes before I nosed it. I just couldn't help it. John went on to talk about how he had already been demoted, and how his boss kept trying to get him to do his old job for the new lower pay. He proudly told them how he told his boss he wasn't going to do the extra work. We went on to complain about the owner of the company driving a new Mercedes and about how his car needed some work.
After he returned to the "comfort" theme for the third time I nosed in and asked what John did for a living. He worked an office job that used to require a degree, but computers now made it so easy that they were hifing minimum wage kids off the street to do it. He was moved to another position but then he was cut back to a lower position. His company was buying another company that had too many operators and the new software would cut half of the people in his department.
So now I started asking more questions. Did he have a resume out there? No. Had he looked at Monster.com or TheLadders.com? No. I asked if it would be smart to get a jump on the other guys and have that new job before the other guys are applying for it too? Yes, but he just didn't have any time, and he had the golden handcuffs keeping him at his current job. I asked if this job was going to help him get to where he wants to be in five years? This answer was the one I have heard a lot lately, he said "I don't want to go anywhere I just want to be comfortable and get what is mine."
I asked him to tell me about anyone he knew that was "comfortable" and getting what is "theirs". He couldn't come up with on person, real or fantasy. So we talked about different people in a "better" or "worse" format. Sometimes using their life like Charlie Sheen, other times using John as the benchmark and comparing John to the other person. About that time the Aunt and Uncle excused themselves to go get ready to leave.
He made a comment that his life wasn't easy like mine because I was rich and he wasn't. I thought that was odd, so I asked if he thought I was always rich. He said "yes". I asked if a repo guy trying to take back your truck while you were living on base sounded "rich". He looked confused. I asked if selling your house, furniture and most of your personal belongings to pay off a business loan sounded "rich". He said "no that sounds like bankrupt."
I explained that twice in my life I have made some big errors and failed to get out of my own way, and they cost me big. I left home full of myself, joined the military and bought everything I could until the banks called wanting it back. I also built a good sized business on the "build it and they will come" mentality, and guess what, they didn't. Twice in my life I was beyond broke and could have easily declared bankruptcy.
John agreed his life wasn't that bad. The next question to John was "If I can do that twice, and you think of me as 'rich' now, do you think you can get rich from where you are right now if you really wanted to?" He sheepishly answered "I guess". I knew that he was at least thinking it through and this would keep him up tonight.
Can you name anyone whose life is always the same? There are a select few like Warren Buffett who seem to go up forever, and then others like Charlie Sheen or Donald Trump who are a roller coaster and finally those that peak and we never hear from them again, I forget who they are. The bottom line is you can be lazy and move backwards or you can enjoy life and keep moving forward no matter how low you get. Nobody stays the same.
John eventually agreed that 'comfortable" wasn't anything real and he said he had given up on his dreams after college. After realizing how lame his excuses were and how lazy he sounded, he said he didn't know where to start. Of course I suggested So, Now What?, and another book that is out of print but you can find online for free as a download called the Secret of the Ages.
The Secret of the Ages is a book I call "the book of the Jedi Mind". Most people I worked with through the military didn't need this book, they understand the concepts because of how they were trained. Since John wasn't ever in the military, I thought Secret of the Ages might be a better starting point for him. So, Now What? turns out to be lacking a couple of concepts which are explained in Secret of the Ages. I'll have to work on the changes along with a new title and cover. Anyone know a better publisher or agent?
I gave John my card and ran off to catch my flight. Two months ago he sent a short email that said "I think I get it, but I still don't know what to do!". My response was get So, Now What? and do the worksheets.
Last week I got an email from John that simply read "You were right, it was in my head, and life is great now. New job, more money and I am having fun."
I never once said it was in his head, but deep down we all know that we are the only ones that can change our lives. He knew it, all I could do was help him say it out loud. Do you know anyone that needs to look in the mirror and say it out loud? If you do, be a good friend and help them do it. If it is you, get Secret of the Ages and So, Now What? and leave your questions here or drop me a note anytime.
In the Real Estate Office my wife works, there were several brand new agents that just wanted to be "comfortable". The common denominator is so obvious once you see it. When you see it in yourself, it is almost embarrassing. At least it was for me when my wife pointed it out. Most people won't say it if I tell them to their face, in fact most would argue the point so I never tell anyone directly anymore. It just made people mad at me, but let's see if you know anyone like this guy I met a short while ago, we'll call him John.
I met John at breakfast while in Dallas Texas. My flight wasn't for a couple of hours, and I was in the corner studying for my California Real Estate license. It turns out, I can't do advertising for my wife or Realtor clients without one and yes I passed.
Anyway, John was talking to an older couple who I assumed to be his parents. They turned out to be his Aunt and Uncle. John was going over all the changes at his office and telling them how he was very worried about losing his job. Does any of this sound familiar? It is like the common thread of the economy.
His aunt and uncle coddled him a bit while he complained that he just wanted to be "comfortable". He suddenly got my attention. After all it was exactly this situation that occurred in the middle east with a group of military troops who were too scared to get out of their comfort zone and go back to civilian life that inspired me to write So, Now What?.
I put my iPad down and listened for a couple more minutes before I nosed it. I just couldn't help it. John went on to talk about how he had already been demoted, and how his boss kept trying to get him to do his old job for the new lower pay. He proudly told them how he told his boss he wasn't going to do the extra work. We went on to complain about the owner of the company driving a new Mercedes and about how his car needed some work.
After he returned to the "comfort" theme for the third time I nosed in and asked what John did for a living. He worked an office job that used to require a degree, but computers now made it so easy that they were hifing minimum wage kids off the street to do it. He was moved to another position but then he was cut back to a lower position. His company was buying another company that had too many operators and the new software would cut half of the people in his department.
So now I started asking more questions. Did he have a resume out there? No. Had he looked at Monster.com or TheLadders.com? No. I asked if it would be smart to get a jump on the other guys and have that new job before the other guys are applying for it too? Yes, but he just didn't have any time, and he had the golden handcuffs keeping him at his current job. I asked if this job was going to help him get to where he wants to be in five years? This answer was the one I have heard a lot lately, he said "I don't want to go anywhere I just want to be comfortable and get what is mine."
I asked him to tell me about anyone he knew that was "comfortable" and getting what is "theirs". He couldn't come up with on person, real or fantasy. So we talked about different people in a "better" or "worse" format. Sometimes using their life like Charlie Sheen, other times using John as the benchmark and comparing John to the other person. About that time the Aunt and Uncle excused themselves to go get ready to leave.
He made a comment that his life wasn't easy like mine because I was rich and he wasn't. I thought that was odd, so I asked if he thought I was always rich. He said "yes". I asked if a repo guy trying to take back your truck while you were living on base sounded "rich". He looked confused. I asked if selling your house, furniture and most of your personal belongings to pay off a business loan sounded "rich". He said "no that sounds like bankrupt."
I explained that twice in my life I have made some big errors and failed to get out of my own way, and they cost me big. I left home full of myself, joined the military and bought everything I could until the banks called wanting it back. I also built a good sized business on the "build it and they will come" mentality, and guess what, they didn't. Twice in my life I was beyond broke and could have easily declared bankruptcy.
John agreed his life wasn't that bad. The next question to John was "If I can do that twice, and you think of me as 'rich' now, do you think you can get rich from where you are right now if you really wanted to?" He sheepishly answered "I guess". I knew that he was at least thinking it through and this would keep him up tonight.
Can you name anyone whose life is always the same? There are a select few like Warren Buffett who seem to go up forever, and then others like Charlie Sheen or Donald Trump who are a roller coaster and finally those that peak and we never hear from them again, I forget who they are. The bottom line is you can be lazy and move backwards or you can enjoy life and keep moving forward no matter how low you get. Nobody stays the same.
John eventually agreed that 'comfortable" wasn't anything real and he said he had given up on his dreams after college. After realizing how lame his excuses were and how lazy he sounded, he said he didn't know where to start. Of course I suggested So, Now What?, and another book that is out of print but you can find online for free as a download called the Secret of the Ages.
The Secret of the Ages is a book I call "the book of the Jedi Mind". Most people I worked with through the military didn't need this book, they understand the concepts because of how they were trained. Since John wasn't ever in the military, I thought Secret of the Ages might be a better starting point for him. So, Now What? turns out to be lacking a couple of concepts which are explained in Secret of the Ages. I'll have to work on the changes along with a new title and cover. Anyone know a better publisher or agent?
I gave John my card and ran off to catch my flight. Two months ago he sent a short email that said "I think I get it, but I still don't know what to do!". My response was get So, Now What? and do the worksheets.
Last week I got an email from John that simply read "You were right, it was in my head, and life is great now. New job, more money and I am having fun."
I never once said it was in his head, but deep down we all know that we are the only ones that can change our lives. He knew it, all I could do was help him say it out loud. Do you know anyone that needs to look in the mirror and say it out loud? If you do, be a good friend and help them do it. If it is you, get Secret of the Ages and So, Now What? and leave your questions here or drop me a note anytime.
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